I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
