it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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