The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it wasn't lemon gatorade
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
