Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
