we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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