I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
