what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
