That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
