Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
