were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Damn victory sex feels great
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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