I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
