have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
