when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i think i have herpe
just one?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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