i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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