i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You pole danced in your parka.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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