I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
