ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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