Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just blew my weed a kiss
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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