mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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