I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
