You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize