Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
