i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize