I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
