Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
