Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
