She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
pray to the hookup gods
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
