Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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