I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
