so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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