I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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