So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
