Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
