Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
