I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize