I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
