I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
