lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
