I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
