Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
