You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Randomize
