If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
