they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
