There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
