it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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