Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
high people should be assigned attendants
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
