i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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