i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
