she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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