Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
