garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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