So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize