I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
